The Unstuck Woman

Without the structure a job can provide for the day, sometimes I find myself waking up in the morning feeling like I have no direction.  Some women tell us it helps to have a daily ritual to start the day. The idea is to do something to start your day that puts you in a positive frame of mind. You know, like that double mocha latte used to do when you could afford it. It doesn’t have to be anything substantial; it could be as simple as reciting something that makes you feel positive, a type of mantra. One woman told us she wakes up every morning and promises herself she will learn something new today. I would have to write that down and prop it on my bedside clock to remember it each morning, but you get the idea.

I have found that having a simple plan for what you are going to do the next day is helpful. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or even written down, but before you go to sleep, tick off on your fingers three things you plan on doing the next day. I usually make one about my financial situation like sending information about my consulting business or networking with contacts, one about something more personal like cleaning out my closet or at least putting new mothballs in my sweater drawer, and one about doing something new. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just new. It could be something simple like going to a park and taking a walk. But I try to do something that gets me looking at the world just a little differently.

What are your daily rituals?

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One day while both of my daughters were home for the holidays we went to the movies and saw “Up In The Air”. I didn’t really know what it was about but my daughters agreed to go with me and that in itself is reason enough to go; so much fun to sit between them with a huge container of buttered popcorn. And if I am being honest I would probably pay to see still pictures of George Clooney…gawd, the man is truly gorgeous and I read or heard somewhere that he doesn’t wear any makeup in the movie and apparently is always ready for a close up….I wonder what he looks like when he wakes up in the morning; hmmm, that thought could keep me occupied for the better part of the afternoon. But that is not why I decided to write about the movie.

George plays a character in the movie, Ryan Bingham, who flies around the nation laying people off for companies. He is personable, kind, and compassionate and did I mention wildly attractive? The story line includes life on the road, having a much younger colleague tell you what to do but my interest was all about the laying off process. The company George works for is planning to implement a remote system of informing people that their job had been eliminated-a system designed by a much younger person. He decides before the company does this the designer should experience first hand what he does day in and day out. She, of course, sees the errors of her way and is much more appreciative of the nuances of letting someone go.

Now I have been laid off and I have been the person delivering the layoff news. Just for the record, I prefer being the person delivering the news vs receiving the news. The movie does an excellent job of showing people’s reactions to the news. No one has an appropriate response to hearing this news from someone as good looking as George Clooney. But I laughed, I cringed, I felt badly for these people and realized this has to be one of the most traumatic things that can happen to you. On one level it could be argued that one deserves the respect of hearing this live and the opportunity to vent frustration, anger, sadness, and fear. On the other hand it could be argued it is best if the person getting the news can experience all of those emotions alone. I got a phone call which was pretty short. Maybe that was better as he didn’t look like George Clooney.

So have any of you been laid off by someone who even remotely looked like George Clooney or was as caring as George was in the process?

And which is better, in person or remote delivery of the news?

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A while ago, we worked on a project that required interviewing a variety of individuals that worked from home. Telecommuting is what some companies call it, although there really isn’t much commuting involved. Actually there is no commuting involved and that is one of the things people like about working from home, along with the flexibility, and fewer distractions. When asked what they found difficult about working from home the number one answer was the lack of adult interaction.

We too have found this to be a challenge. Even with the number of conference calls we participate in regularly, sometimes you just want a little face-to-face. I find myself running for the door when I hear the mail lady pull up with an absurd desire to find out how her day is going. I am now on a first name basis with the propane deliveryman, the UPS man, and the Fish and Game guy. In fact, thanks to him, I know more about salmon spawning then anyone really needs to know. It may come in handy though should I ever decide to go into wildlife management.

These little interludes break up my day and give me the occasional break. I also find myself calling friends and family for a little chat when I need a break and I am proud to say I haven’t missed an opportunity to personally wish each of them a happy birthday in the last year. In exchange, I don’t have anyone “just stopping by with a quick question about the ABC project” as I would in an office situation, nor do I get roped into yet another committee meeting on lunchroom policy. Yes I am occasionally desperate for a little conversation and have resorted to holding talking to the dogs- they are great with eye contact, but lacking on verbalization skills. The trade offs, making my own hours, taking projects that interest me, and yes, rolling out of bed five minutes before my first call, sometimes make me question whether I really want another “real job”.

So what do you do to appease the loneliness of working from home?

Tell us your story….